F@ck it...Im me
This post is a bit similar to my other post in the “Affect” section. All about being yourself. Why am I talking about this again? because I can. Seriously, I’m back at this subject because I continue to experience this feeling of not being good enough. I cant stand this feeling, its totally annoying and takes up so much energy which I can be using towards something much more beneficial. Damn it, I’m at my wits end with adjusting my personality for others pleasure. Don’t do that and don’t do this, and why cant you be like this or why aren’t you doing that and the stinking list goes on.
There is absolutely no problem with dropping bad habits that tarnish your character but when you have to completely change who you are that’s when shit gets annoying. I have come to a point that I’m yelling out “fuck it, I’m me”. I’m me and that should be enough. Why the hell do I have to jump through loops to make you smile? What about my smile? While others enjoy I suffer, well the hell with that. If someone cant accept me for me than that’s their prerogative. The biggest lesson here would be to not focus solely on the pleasure of others, but pleasing ourselves. We are better to others when we are the best to ourselves. Being selfish in order to be a much better you is not necessarily the same as being selfish in a way that hurts others. There are times that others need to be considered and placed in front while we take the backseat, but on the contrary; there are times when we need to place ourselves ahead of everyone else as well. Putting yourself first is healthy, nourishing and vital. There is absolutely no shame in being a bit selfish if its going to benefit and make you a better you.
I can speak from experience. Personally, I’m not a person that will bring anything positive your way if I’m not good with myself. It starts from within. Building up character to a point of becoming comfortable and confident in who you are will breed positive vibes and uplift others. Fuck it, I’m me and I’m loving it. I’m not you him or her nor do I ever want to be. Accepting my faults and shortcomings is a huge part of accepting me for me. Mistakes will happen so as long as I learn from those mistakes and get better. Fuck it, I’m me, and proud to be. Fuck it, I’m me and that’s all I need to be. Fuck it, I’m me and being me is free. That felt really good to get out, quite satisfying.
Its never going to be the easiest thing in the world to do cause some situations are tempting enough to make you think twice. Think twice about changing who you are or how you feel, but you know deep down who you are, who you want to be and how you feel. Freedom in my opinion is what a human most desires, and whats more free than being comfortable with your own self? Imagine, speaking, dressing, walking and eventually thinking like others and not yourself…what a hell hole that would be. This was more of a rant if anything, but its my blog and I sort of treat it like a journal so I spill my guts on the page as a relief mechanism. Until next post, love life love yourself and always stay progressive.